55. Love – the
passion, the pain
There were two major factors that triggered my transformation from ordinary, churchgoing family man to what I have become, a man filled with God’s spirit, called to speak out for truth and justice. Psalm 94, the one I read out during a church service, under very bizarre circumstances, asks in verse 16: “Who will stand up against the evildoers?” I took that as my calling. My volunteer nature said – I will. Little did I know that years later I was – Mr. Who.
The second factor that started the ball rolling was my resistance to a scheme, a major change in work practices, in my job as driving instructor. It caused much stress, heartache and as was proven, more road crashes than in other states. One allegation that was thrown at me was, that I shirk responsibility. If I taught students to drive properly, why would I not take on the job of taking the final driving exam with the client?
This was flawed thinking right from the start. I never walked away from responsibility. It’s the opposite – I saw that the system would not work and made my voice heard. Like much legislation, birthed by public servants from pure theory and adopted by politicians with even less subject knowledge, it affected my personal life dramatically. My responsibility was to the public, who was, and sadly still is, suffering from bad decisions by uninformed bureaucrats.
At the time of writing a review of the whole South Australian driver training system is under way, headed by ex-Governor Sir Eric Neal. May God grant him wisdom and insight to bring common sense back into driver training to improve road safety!
I also have a clear conscience to be able to say, I have followed my calling in writing these pages. All things have worked together for good, the bizarre, the humourous, the tragic and the magic. God’s will must be the main aim in life for HIS people. All mankind will see that HE is the force behind every form of life in the Universe. A force so strong, it moves solar systems, yet so caring to be interested about the hairs that grow on your head.
Years ago I felt a giant finger was pointing in my direction and is so to this day. Much magic has been created and still happens daily in my life. Circumstances surrounding my story appear weird at times, even foolish. But this is what the scripture says; he uses the fool to make the wise look silly.
Not only supernatural events pointed at me, but simple data, which I had absolutely no control over. My name, both Christian name and surname, my date of birth, the house number and the street in which we live etc. etc. A few have not yet been mentioned
This outside the box thinking may have been hard to accept or hard to follow by some readers. A rigid engineer’s brain may have found my linking a bit hard to accept. (Perhaps my wife has an engineer’s brain?) But without a flexible, open mind, how would God be able to have shown me all the wonderful connections, such as the explanations of chapter 15, linking it with Revelations in the bible?
From the beginning God had arranged each event, the timing, the participants and the events that unfolded, with clockwork precision. HE never makes mistakes; even when to us it may appear to be so at the time. In the end, when we look back, we can see God, even in apparent defeat, in calamity or in sorrow.
If I claim to be especially chosen by God to be HIS voice here on earth, many who know me will be disappointed. How can I so ordinary, from a working class background, relatively poor by Australian standards, be the man God wanted?
Didn’t Jesus come into the world originally in a rather poor environment? Why do we expect him to return in the latest Rolls Royce, with a chauffeur in a suit and tie?
There was one big difference in my claim to be God’s mouthpiece, which is the reason for this final upload in this, Part 2, of my autobiography. It was not I who first thought I was HE. Other people had discovered it before me and were saying it loud and clear. My time had not yet come until now.
I ignored for a long time what people were thinking and conveying in strange ways. Our human opinion of what must take place is not of ultimate value. Even my own will is not paramount. What matters most is the question: What was God saying, what is God’s will in all of our lives. I have done HIS will, in my jokes, in my tears, in my call for repentance. Many have heeded that call. They will never regret it. They belong to HIM forever.
Previously, I reported that a certain group of people in the USA believed that my writing had to do with the second coming of Christ. I had clearly stated that this was not so. At the time I could not have imagined what would transpire in the months to follow.
Things have changed. I now can see that God has placed me into this prominent position for a purpose. Not to get glory and worldly riches. I had called what was taking place a theophany, God’s visitation to us on earth. He once again came, quietly, like a thief in the night. He showed himself through miracles; perhaps different to the way most of you had expected.
Looking back at the time just before I flew into the USA on April fool’s day in 2003, my dream to say that Christ had returned to earth, was not an April fool’s joke after all.
Friends, it is not easy to speak like I do now. Just to type the words, in the solitude of my computer room, gives me butterflies in the stomach. But with such enormous favour, granted to me, comes responsibility. To whom much is given, much is required, the bible says. I am willing to take on that responsibility, even if it means giving up my own life (carrying a cross).
In a parable Jesus told of a wedding feast (Luke 14, 1-11). When people arrived for the banquet, they loved to sit in the best places at the head of the table. When somebody more important arrived, what humiliation to have to move to a lower place! It’s much better to first choose the lower seat and be ushered into the box seat.
My coming was like that. God invited me, an ordinary person, from a modest background, to come to this wedding feast. I didn’t mind and set down at the lowliest place. Many have said to me come - move up to a higher better place. The testimony of men, however, is nothing. Men will always look for a hero, an idol to look up to. If this was the only go ahead I received, I would not be speaking as boldly as I do.
My authority comes from God, the ONE, who time and again, inspired my thinking, guided my steps to action and validated all with incredible signs following. After the incredible moment, when I was led to Ward St. and my odometer showed 177 777 on August 9, 04, I started thinking and praying at a higher level. I began asking who was it and what was it.
I looked at the name Jesus more closely than I ever had. My outside the square thinking mind divided the five letters into three sections:
J - In a vision I had been given this letter. I saw cars turning around. Jesus is the one, who causes people turn from lying to loving. My logo looks very much like two letters J creating a roundabout.
(Logo - Driving Plus Motor School)
ES – In German es means it. As if a circle was closing the two letters ES, played a big role in my youth as the car registration prefix for my hometown Esslingen. In chapter 28 (More in number) I reported how I saw a plate E AU 560 on Nov 7th 02 while on holiday in Germany. It was almost identical to that of our choir master’s small Renault 4, ES AU 560. (Only now I see the AU, the Internet code for Australia).
US – Your safety is Driving PL us. My slogan came to me one day while in the shower. Us points to me, the 2 for good, living in Goodall Road. Before any citizen of the US gets excited, please remember that I often read words backwards. We wouldn’t want to start the cold war again?
Of course, I could not build an identity around such playfulness. During April 04 I had stumbled across a car registration number, the number was 59. I think the message was meant to be 95, Chapter 9, verse 5 in the book of Acts.
In this verse a voice from nowhere speaks to a man named Saul – “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting” I had used the same verse, repeated in Acts 22,8, the registration number of my Suzuki. But that verse, authentic as it is, is not the real thing. It only quotes Saul, defending himself before a mob in Jerusalem, repeating, what the voice from heaven had said.
Friends, do you get the significance? When I first saw the matching car number plate 228, and linked it with the bible verse, I was not aware, who God had chosen me to be. Now, years later, Verse 5 and chapter 9 in Acts are the real thing – the voice was God himself speaking to Saul. The encounter transformed him into the giant he was to become.
God has transformed me into the person HE wants me to be. I am willing to obey HIS will, nothing short of HIS complete will for my life. Lord, here am I sent me. HE already has.
Like the rebel carpenter did so many times, I have spoken out fearlessly against corruption and have asked the hard questions. I have exposed lies and trodden on toes of important people. I spoke out, exposing bureaucratic incompetence, cutting down some big egos on the way.
Upsetting the hierarchy of his day was also the trademark of the outspoken, dissident tradesman from Nazareth, who became famous for doing incredible miracles. Sad what happened to HIM. He came to bring peace and was killed instead. Will they once again reject and crucify HIM instead?
This coming out is the most painful step on my journey. To be true to myself, I must take this step, landing in this troubled world. What can I expect? Will it be rejection, condemnation, and persecution? It is all in God’s hands. I trust HIM even more than the day I decided to trust HIM.
Let no one be afraid, except those who reject HIM. This is a time where the weak say – I am strong! God’s power is greater than any force in heaven or on earth.
Greater is HE that is in you, than he that is in the world.
Here I stand – I can do no other.
End of Part 2 - Go to Part 3